How to Build A Life In Ministry the You Love Part 1
How To Build A Life in Ministry that You Love Part 1
You're here because you are looking for the best online training for worship leaders (we're so glad you found us)! And my guess is, you want to build a life in ministry that you don't have to recover from.
You're doing the work to find resources and community to help you grow. Which is incredible!
As I've trained thousands of worship leaders over the last 20 years, I am often asked:
How do we achieve longevity in ministry?
Or rather - how do we build a life in ministry that we love and don't have to recover from?
Here's what I tell them:
I am a part of a growth group with several other entrepreneurs and leaders from all over the world. We gather about 4 times a year to learn, grow and collaborate together. At one of our gatherings, someone made a statement that stopped me in my tracks. They said:
So many people do an amazing job of building a business, but a terrible job of building a life.
It stopped me in my tracks because while this is a room full of business owners, it applies to ministry, as well. So many of us do an amazing job of building a ministry, but a no-so-amazing job of building a life because life in ministry is so different from any other vocation. It’s wonderful and such a joy to be a part of, but the line between workplace and personal life is often blurred, making it difficult to live with any sort of balance or margin.
I am not going to tell you exactly how to achieve balance and margin in ministry life. Whether you like it or not, we all have to figure that out for ourselves. It’s subjective to so many external factors. However, I have two charges to help you build a life in ministry that you truly love.
Be Mindful of Appropriate Boundaries
I could write a lot on this topic alone, but it must at least be mentioned. There are several facets to establishing appropriate boundaries in ministry, but the main part is the boundary around your personal life.
I tend to be an all or nothing person. It’s very hard for me to dial back my care and concern for people. It’s either on or off, and most of the time, it’s on. Maybe you empathize with that in some way. In ministry, we see our congregation as the community we serve, but also those we do life with. So, there’s a deep level of personal connection that naturally comes with ministry and it is beautiful. But, where this can become dangerous is when we start to allow that care and concern for your church, staff or team take over your personal or family time with texts, calls, requests to meet and the like.
The way that I draw appropriate boundaries is with the best yes filter. The question is
How will this ‘yes’ impact my family, loved ones or personal life?
Which ultimately leads to the question, is this the best yes for my current season of life?
The reality is a 'yes' to one thing is a no to something else.
And it is equally important to note that a yes in ministry is never just a yes from you. If you have a family at home, it’s a collective yes because everyone is impacted. If your yes always requires them to sacrifice their time with you, your family may be the ones to burnout of ministry.
Do we have ministry emergencies that come up? Of course. And do we pour our whole hearts into them? I know I do.
Additionally, there are seasons of sprinting or intense ministry (Christmas, Easter, etc), but those should have an end date. Sprinting indefinitely isn’t sustainable. No matter how energetic you are, you are still a human being created for rhythms of ebb and flow and that includes rhythms of regular and intentional rest.
What does this look like practically? Saying no sometimes. That is perfectly okay.
Now, I am not saying that worship leading is just like any other job where you simply close the door and turn it off every day at 5PM and every Sunday after church. Working in ministry is a unique position because you aren’t just punching a clock to pay the bills. It’s a life calling and a deep passion. But, that is also why so many of us allow the boundary lines to get blurry and we end up saying yes all the way to total exhaustion.
When my husband and I were on staff at our first church, He was the youth pastor and I was the worship leader. We spent 15 years at this church and made some incredible memories. We also learned a lot along the way. This lesson was a hard one.
The church was doing a building project, and my husband, having years of construction and general contracting experience, was asked to volunteer his services to general contract for the build. At that point, we were pregnant with our second daughter and life was full. We felt stuck between a rock and a hard place because we knew that our small church wouldn’t be able to pay a general contractor and it was something we could give to bless the ministry.
We wanted to be generous with our time and talents, so we said yes. However, in that season of our lives, it was not the best yes. We sacrificed family dinners and having daddy home for bedtime for far too long as the building project took longer than expected and countless hours after work.
The good news is that we learned from that experience. We learned that saying yes to everything that seems good doesn’t work in ministry, because a lot of it is good! It’s Kingdom work, right? We learned we had to change our filter. We needed to run our decisions through the filter of our family values first and in that season of life, we should have said no for the good of our family.
Life moves in seasons.
A no right now doesn’t have to be a no forever. It’s just simply not the best yes in your current season. And that’s okay.
So, after reading this article, I challenge you to take some time and define what appropriate boundaries look like for you and define your version of the best yes filter to prepare for future decisions.
Now that we have a general understanding of what personal boundaries look like in ministry, the second and final piece is the linchpin that makes all the difference to loving life in worship ministry.
Are you ready for a community that supports you on your worship leading journey?
Consider joining us at Overflow Worship Leaders Online to get connected with a group of people who are in it with you.
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